The Adventist Family – Part 1

Posted on August 18, 2012


Family: “A basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.”

There are many different kinds of families in the world today… secular families, Christian families, broken families, healthy families, liberal families, conservative families, athletic families, academic families, etc.  The make or style of family really does not matter, what matters is if Christ is at the heart of each and every family.

God wants every family to be a Word believing, Christian family.  Does this mean that every family should be modeled after the Western style family?  No!  It just means that every individual within each family unit around the world needs to know Jesus and His amazing truths written in the Word of God.

QUESTION #1 – What does a Christian family look like? 

A Christian family always begins with a Christian man and a Christian woman.  If one of the spouses is not a real Christian (play Christian) then it is impossible to be a Christian family.  Families can pretend to be Christian, going to church, praying, and even reading the Bible, but if Christ is not central and lives are not surrendered, then they do not have a Christian family.  Having a Christian family is based off the spirituality of the parents, not the children. Christian parents will train up their children in the way they should go, teaching them to be loving, respectful, hard workers, good Bible students, and more, but every child must decide for themselves to follow God or not.

A healthy, Christian family will have a husband who loves God and is willing to follow Him always.  The husband is the head of the family and is responsible for setting a good example and guiding the family to Jesus every day (Eph. 5:23, 1 Tim. 3:4, 12).  A Christ-filled husband and father will be loving, kind, tender, firm, forgiving, fun, balanced, etc.

So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them. – Colossians 3:19

Let the husband give to the wife proper kindness, and likewise the wife also to the husband. – 1 Cor. 7:3

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. – 1 Cor. 7:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. — Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they be discouraged. — Colossians 3:21

The Word of God clearly teaches that men are to be the head of the home as Christ is the head of the church.  And just because men are to be the leader within the home does not mean that they have the right to demand to be served.  Jesus, King of the universe, knelt down and washed His disciples feet, setting an example of what real leadership is all about.  Jesus-filled husbands and fathers will be the first to forgive, first to serve, first to do what is right, and first to seek God every day in worship.

This next part is difficult for many women to accept, but “It is written” and that needs to be good enough.  We need to trust and obey God even when we do not want to.  The Word of God says…

Likewise, husbands, live together according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, the female, as truly being co-heirs together of the grace of life, not cutting off your prayers. – 1 Peter 3:7

As much as we like to think men and women are exactly the same in every way possible, this is not true.  The Bible clearly teaches that men and women are wired in different ways.  Men are wired with analytical leadership skills and women are wired with an emotional element that helps balance out the leadership role of men.  Husbands and wives are called to become one flesh.  As this happens, the strengths of each are joined together to make a strong mission team that works for God in the harvest.

When the Bible says that, “the wife is the weaker vessel”, this is not only talking about physical strength… it is also talking about inner strength.  That is why God said, “Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Tim. 2:14).  Men are usually more thick-headed than women, allowing them to make tough decisions as leaders.

With that said, what does it mean to be a Christian wife and mother?

Let the husband give to the wife proper kindness, and likewise the wife also to the husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. – 1 Cor. 7:3, 4

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. – Eph. 5:22

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as is becoming in the Lord. – Col. 3:18

In the same way also, I desire that women adorn themselves in decent clothing, with modesty and sensibleness, not adorned with braiding, or gold, or pearls, or costly clothing, but with good works, which becomes women professing godliness. – 1 Tim. 2:9, 10

Wives are to be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. – 1 Tim. 3:11

Don’t quarrel and fight: The quarreling of a wife is a never-ending dripping. – Proverbs 19:13

These Bible verses give us a good idea of what it means to be a Christian woman.

Wouldn’t it be nice if husbands and wives were respectful, kind, loving, forgiving, and giving to each other at all times.  This is what God’s DEMANDS of Christian husbands and wives.  If we truly love God and are willing to go wherever He leads, we will surrender our selfish egos and pride at the foot of the cross and strive to be like Jesus all the time.

Christian families will be safe environments where family members can learn about God and grow in His amazing grace.  They will be places where people can make mistakes and not be condemned for doing so.  Christian families will look and sound peaceful and Christ-like.  There will be no selfish and angry fighting, yelling, belittling, name-calling, and abusing.  Through the power of Jesus, every family member will gain victory over self and God will be lifted up as King.

I will continue to cover this topic in the weeks to come.  Please invite your Adventist family and friends to visit this website.  Take care and have a blessed Sabbath day and great work week.


QUESTION #2 – What does an Adventist Christian family look like?

QUESTION #3 – Why do dysfunctional families equal dysfunctional churches?

QUESTION #4 – Did God give us a Biblical plan for church leadership?