Let’s Talk About Sex

Posted on February 20, 2016


Image processed by CodeCarvings Piczard ### FREE Community Edition ### on 2015-07-15 19:57:36Z | http://piczard.com | http://codecarvings.com  Author: Ken Lytle

Most Christians and churches do not like to talk about sex.  We treat sex as taboo and wonder why so many people struggle with it.  We need to stop running from the sex talk and tackle this subject once and for all.

So many marriages struggle to stay healthy because of sex… or the lack of it. The Bible has clear teachings to help shed light on this topic.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh – Genesis 2:18, 24. 

Married couples are to become one flesh, mentally, spiritually, and physically.  Sex can be a symbol for becoming one flesh, especially when it includes the making of children.

This next verse is key in helping couples have a healthy sex life. 

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control – 1 Corinthians 7:5.

God has given us clear instructions on how to understand sex.  No wife or husband should withhold sex for very long.  If this happens, sexual sin can easily take root, causing even more problems in the marriage.  

I like how the Message words 1 Corinthians 7:5…

Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. 

While studying Theology, one of my professors said something like this… “If a dog is not fed at home, he will go digging through the neighbors garbage.”  

There is nothing wrong or dirty with sex.  Problems arise when spouses misuse it… abuse it… or withhold it.  

Husbands and wives need to learn how to use sex in such a way that their marriage is made stronger through it.

  • Men need to keep dating their wives (weekly) as the years go by.  
  • Men need to contribute to the household, not expecting the wife to do everything.
  • Men need to learn how to use foreplay to help get their wives in the mood. 
  • Women need to not use sex as a tool to control or punish their husbands. 
  • Women need to be willing to begin the lovemaking, instead of waiting for their husbands to ask for it. 
  • Women (and men) need to respectfully communicate their sexual likes and dislikes, compromise a little here and there to keep things interesting, and keep politics out of the bedroom. 

Sex is a beautiful activity that God created for husbands and wives. We need to be careful not to abuse it or we will lose it.  There is a lot more to say about sex… here are some links to add to the discussion. 


Sex and Intimacy –> https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-and-intimacy

Understanding His Sexuality –> http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-and-intimacy/understanding-your-husbands-sexual-needs/understanding-his-sexuality

Oral Sex, Vibrators, and More –> http://www.growthtrac.com/marriage-bed/#.Vshrqcd0ylI